Moving On: Life After College

Last week I got a phone call from a 26 year old friend who just graduated, asking for advice on where to live. She lives a few blocks away from BYU and is looking to stay in, or very close to, Utah County where she is currently looking for a job. She expressed her concern of "I just don't want to be in an area of Orem where everyone is living in their parents' basement, getting older not going anywhere in life." I sensed some concern in her asking and knew that she wanted to be in a place that would match her personal preferences.  Where you live is a big deal. Some areas might fit a person's preferences while others very well might not. I wanted however to clarify for her that outside of the BYU housing area, there is a lot to look forward to. There are exceptional people everywhere, outstanding as well as ordinary. You just have to look for them.

I love BYU's motto of "The world is our campus," but as my sister once mentioned... "For some people it's more like, 'Campus is our world.'" Having not had much interaction yet individuals outside of her campus neighborhood, I am excited for her to see and experience some of the great people and places in the world, outside of the BYU experience.

I wanted to clarify the reality of some of the "world out there" and offer a little perspective. I explained, "I was born on the East coast but I was raised in Orem and I know exactly what you're referring to with the 'living in the parents' basement bit' and the 'not going anywhere in life' idea. Quite honestly though, there are exceptional people to be found everywhere, pursuing very worthwhile and ambitious goals. For example, a bunch of friends in the area have worked for years and are strong contributors in their fields. Others have pursued further education and graduated with Master's or PhD degrees. Some own their own homes, while others have lived in a handful of different and unique places. Overall, there are many people who are leading wonderful lives and pursuing purposeful things. Yes, they are single but they are not limiting their lives because of it. They are inspiring, fun to be around, and all-in-all really great people."

I understand her concerns. We all want is to be around people who we enjoy, feel similar to, feel validated by and who motivate or inspire us to become even better, while still enjoying ourselves for who and how we presently are in our current developmental stage. There is also an inaccurate stigma some have regarding singles above the age of 26ish. (I'll probably blog something about this later.) In short- When there are millions of members above the age of 27 who are single, a "one size fits all" judgement or generalization doesn't fit right and quite honestly, teachings ancient and modern (E. Oaks quoted the jacket analogy from this article) have taught us to do and to be better than that... but back to her question about where to live...

THOUGHTS RELATED TO 
"WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?"

DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF:

I know many friends will read this and think, "Why is she limiting herself to Provo?! Why Utah County?!" Quite honestly I wonder if Heavenly Father ever feels the same regarding our thoughts and plans contrasted with our personal potential for our pursuits, our futures, our plans and our ambitions. Why is he limiting himself to that degree or field of study? Why is she limiting herself to her present position or job? Why don't they dream big? Why are they thinking with such a "scarcity mentality" rather than an "opportunistic" one? "Where there is no vision the people perish" and vision oftentimes correlates with either our past experiences and the visions that others' have shared with us.

Similar to the flies in the video below, when we experience life in a certain setting for a while, we may not only become accustomed to it but we may choose to stay there for an extended amount of time. Let's just be sure to double check ourselves that our choosing is out of desire rather than out of limited perspective.

WHERE I LIVE VS. WHERE I TRAVEL: HOW I MADE MY DECISIONS:

Some of my friends will probably be reading this and laughing, because I, many years after graduating from BYU still live in Provo.  I have followed God's guidance regarding where to live in the past and I fully intend on following it in the future as well, especially since I am presently/in the near future changing what I do for work.

Years ago I was in her same shoes, deciding what to do after graduation. Before graduating I had been fortunate to have a number of experiences in various areas of the world. I lived in Jerusalem for a study abroad and traveled in Mexico for a learning expedition. I lived in Texas while waiting for my visa as a missionary and then in South Korea where I served after that. I had also travelled to Paris, Egypt, Jordan and other areas with parts of my study abroad program.

Then graduation came around. Before deciding to take a teaching position in the school district I had interned in, I drove with a friend to Palo Alto to check out the area, but it didn't feel right. A year later I lived in DC for the summer to see if that felt like the right fit. It didn't. Since then, I have lived right here in the southern part of Provo where I have honestly had incredible opportunities for growth professionally, in callings, and in the community.

It is always interesting to see and hear people's responses to the fact that I live in Provo. When they express their thoughts regarding it, we learn more about the judge than we do about the subject matter they are judging through what they express and how they express it. While living here I have been fortunate to travel to Manhattan and Mexico, California and North Carolina, and the beautiful foreign lands of Greece, Turkey and London. Each trip has blessed me with broader perspective, enlightened eyes and a more cultured character.

OUR BIGGEST CONCERN IS NOT LOCATION:

The greatness of our lives is not limited to the location where we live. In the space of 10 years, Joseph Smith never moved outside of his Palmyra area. It did not have a great social scene, it did not have universities for learning or much besides the gorgeous nature that would have been very exciting. The key was, he was where he was supposed to be. 

The right kind of growth is not about where we choose to live, but that we choose to live where we feel God has and is guiding us. When it comes to choosing where to live, the moral of the story is: Follow the Spirit.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HER PERSONAL PREFERENCES:

Her preferences:
LOCATION: Utah County, possibly Provo.
COMFORT LEVEL: "Very safe" and "very similar" to her close to BYU "safety-net" kind of ward.
MAINTENANCE LEVEL: Not high.

#1: CRESTWOOD APARTMENTS: Some UVU students, some BYU students, some graduated students. It's a step further away from BYU but still close enough that it might just be a comfortable stepping stone. It's also not high maintenance and she thought she might be more comfortable with a place like that.
#2 DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN: Totally kidding. While many up & coming, go' get 'em/ambitiously driven types would jump at this, it's not at all what she would presently prefer.
#2 (really this time) ALTA APARTMENTS: Some undergrads, some grads, not high maintenance
#3 MILLRACE TOWNHOUSES: More graduates, still in Provo (which she is comfortable with and still seeming to desire), a little higher maintenance. (Millrace is also one of my favorite places I ever lived. I don't know if it's still as great of a group and ward as it was when I lived there, but at that time it was a great ground for personal growth. I lived there my last year at BYU, which was also my internship year of teaching, and the following year of teaching as well.)
#4 SOUTH PROVO: South Provo has 5 wards that are largely composed of graduates who are now working full time. There are also a lot of grad students who live in the area. A few years ago, while looking for a house in the area, I wanted to be aware of all of the options of available housing, prices, roommates, etc but there was not a "one-stop-shopping" resource for them all. I looked on KSL.com, Craigslist, and contacted ward housing coordinators. Candice Snow, who was the housing coordinator in the 235th ward had a Google Doc of the available spots in her ward.... and then it hit me. What if we just had a clickable map of the stake (that had 5 of those "graduated students" kinds of wards) and you could click on a ward and then it would go to a Google Doc like hers that individuals could go to look for housing or where they could post their contracts when they were trying to sell them. That is what led to this Interactive Housing Map. If you are looking for a place to live in South Provo, click on the link, then click on a ward on the map to be directed to housing openings.
#5 TURNBERRY APARTMENTS: Again, she wanted to live somewhere similar to BYU. Turnberry, a housing complex in Holiday, (about 35 minutes north of Provo) which has multiple YSA wards, and still an apartment kind of feel.
#6 INSTITUTE HOUSING DIRECTORIES: I also told her when looking outside of this area, one great resource to check is the local institute. They oftentimes have a housing website or housing board.

If deciding where to live is just too complicated, there is always the
"Where will I serve my mission?" method that my friends and I sometimes did when we were little kids.
You just spin the globe, close your eyes, put your finger down and voilà, that's where you're heading for sure. ;)
Just watch out for putting your finger down in the the Pacific Ocean - it's huge!

Good luck with the apartment shopping and house hunting,
Ali~

If you were to recommend a place to her where would you recommend? If you were to give her any advice, what would it be? If you have perspective to offer, feel free to share in the comment section below.